everything

how can I stand here with you, and not be moved by you?

the drafting process.

It was late at night, the house was quiet, the clock was ticking and it would seem that i was sitting on my bed, only I was not. I was at a different place, you know the place we all know so well yet loathe so much; the place of uncertainty. I don’t really like this place. when I’m here, i tend to find myself asking questions that have no answers and having answers without the questions. Does that make sense? I guess not, its all a bit blurry at the moment. It was during this visit that i grabbed out my journal and started writing questions, and answers, and questions, and answers, and so on. As i was questioning certain things, i started rambling on about something interesting. Something that actually made sense.

The drafting process. Have you ever been at that place when absolutely nothing makes sense? You feel as if you’ve wasted all this time working on certain things to simply be rewarded with failure? Ah, i know that feeling all too well, and i guess i was looking for an answer to it. As i questioned so many things about my life i somehow came to the idea of the drafting process. I believe that my life right now, or the life i plan to live is not the life that has been planned for me. I think what I’m living in at the moment is sort of like the “drafting process”. You know, that long and painful process where changes and mistakes are inevitable, the part where nothing is certain until the plan is completed.

I think God has this massive plan out there for each of us, but before he lets us experience it, he wants to make sure we’re prepared. So he puts us through this difficult journey where we are tested to our limits. He wants us to be ready to take on whatever it is he has planned, he wants us to go through this drafting process before we can start to live out his plan. Although this process is somewhat unbearable, i think the gifts we reap once our plans are completed far outweigh the changes we have to face. Picture it like this, imagine if an apartment building was constructed using the drafts and plans of a law firm – it wouldn’t really fulfil its purpose right? I know, its a bit of a lame example, but you get the picture. God wants us to go through this drafting journey so we are built ready for his plans.

I think I’ve just begun the drafting process, I don’t fully understand what plans will eventuate from the draft. But i can tell you this, it will be amazing.

slaves or heirs?

Galatians 4:7 “So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir.” To get the whole gist of this post, it may be necessary for you to read Galatians 4… just a warning.

Is it just me, or do you constantly find yourself trapped in a place you loathe? You feel like you can’t get out because your feet are in too deep. You feel like you have to stay as a form of penance, as if you were forced into this situation as a result of your past. You can’t help but wonder what liberty tastes like, but you know not to try it, as it will simply make your current situation worse. You hope and pray that this tunnel you’re in has an end and that there will be an escape out of your prison. But for some reason you believe that this slavery will never come to an end.

Slavery. No, not the ancient Egyptian type of slavery, but slavery under the “principals of the world”. The world has made us believe that we are slaves. Slaves to money, friends, media, music, jobs..and the list could go on. Whats more, is that we as “sons” believe that we too are slaves to the world. We have been brainwashed with the idea that we are slaves, and that we cannot escape.

But we are not slaves. We are heirs. We don’t have to feel as though we are forced into situations, or that we have no escape. Why, you ask? Because God made sure of this. Jesus – being omnipotent, could have chosen to come to earth as an angel, or prince or something really really amazing. But he didn’t. He chose to come into the world, the same way you and I did. He chose to be born out of a woman and to work as a carpenter. This is Jesus; our God, he could have been born into royalty – but he chose to be born into a working class family. He chose to bear pain for our sins and our salvation. He CHOSE to die for you and me. I don’t know if I can make that any more clear. Jesus, decided to go through the most excruciating pain for your freedom, so that you and I would no longer be slaves, but heirs.

I don’t know what else to say, except that if you ever feel as though you are the slave in a situation, just remember that God has made you a son. YOU, are royalty in the kingdom of heaven. You have someone that loves you so much that they decided to go through the worst pain imaginable to set you free. God has freed you from slavery, and made you an heir.

What more could you ask for?

Your other hand.

“No more wasting your life chasing dead ideals.
See the past? It’s gone. Let’s roll on with the show.” Quoted from the song; Your Other Hand – Clare Bowditch.

I really like Clare Bowditch’s music, I’m not really sure if shes Christian or not, I’d assume not, but some of her songs may suggest otherwise (People Like Me, People Like You – look up the lyrics and you’ll see what I mean). Anyway, I was listening to her album today, and I don’t usually listen to this song cos the start of it is very ‘folky’ and it sort of puts me off, but i decided to listen to it today. As soon as I heard that section of the bridge, I felt something click in my head.

I think that too often we find ourselves contemplating the past, rather than embracing the future. I find myself doing so on many many many many MANY occasions. “I wish I did this, didn’t do that, didn’t say this, said no, asked why” etc. But there is no point in drowning yourself with thoughts of what you could have done, but didn’t do. You can’t change the past, cos “It’s gone”. God doesn’t want us to live in the past, because when we live in the past, we learn nothing – we simply repeat our mistakes and live in a cycle of sin and shame. Jesus didn’t die for us to simply regret and wallow in self pity. He died to set us free, free from shame, guilt and pain, but we need to embrace this freedom he lovingly gave us. By continuously chasing your past, not only are you wasting precious time, but you are fighting a losing battle.

However, that said, we can’t simply continue on with life without changing things about ourselves. Mistakes and experiences from the past all work together to craft us into unique individuals. If we simply make our mistakes and continue making the same mistakes, life turns into a sequence of pain. I believe we make mistakes for a simple reason – we are imperfect. But God made us this way, he didn’t want us to be prim and perfect people. He lets us make bad choices, but he does so with the hope that we will all come to our senses and learn from our mistakes. God wants us to look back on the past and see where we went wrong so that we can grow not only in maturity, but in faith.

I guess what I’m trying to say in this short entry is that, living in the past is like being dead – No growth occurs. We need to embrace the time we have, and learn from our past to create a worthwhile future for ourselves.

more.

This is my first “proper post”, probably because its the only one I’m actually publishing. So, I decided to start a blog against the wishes of my friends, but I felt it was necessary. Hopefully I’ll use this and it will actually be somewhat productive. The name you ask? Imparfait. What does it mean? Imperfect. Why? Because that is exactly what I am, and I am not ashamed of it. We all have our imperfections, they are what make our perfections beautiful. Back to my post..

More

Why do we rely on people, more than we rely on God? Why do we trust in the creation of man, more than the creation of our creator. Everything in our lives has to be detailed, precise and perfect. Why can’t we simply be happy with what we have, why can’t we settle for the simple pleasures? Why do we always want more? More money, more power, more friends, more time, more love – because the world “said so”. Because 1 hug is not enough, 1 book is not enough, 1 minute is not enough, 1 lover is not enough. Why are we always demanding more? Because the world has made us this way.

But we are Christians. We were born to want more, but as we grow through our faith and experiences we learn to be happy with what we have. Everything becomes sufficient – unfortunately, even with God. 10 minutes a day or week with God becomes enough. Our relationship with God is when we should want more. We should teach ourselves to not let the ways of the world affect the way we communicate with our creator. Our relationship with God shouldn’t be “second best”. We should be striving for the best relationship we could ever imagine with God – and then when we reach that point, we should want more. We need to train ourselves to hunger not for the things of this world, but for God. We need to be hungry for his word, his love, his relationship with us.

I challenge you, as I challenge myself, to want more of God. To choose God over a bad relationship, choose God over drugs, over alcohol, over death. Instead of turning to people, turn to God. Trust him above all things.